The following is an extract from AT WAR – AT SEA Sailors and
Naval Warfare in the Twentieth Century by Ronald Spector….Headed

1. Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for 6 months straight;
2. Run all the piping and wires inside your house on the outsides of
the walls;
3. Pump 10 inches of nasty, dirty water into your basement, then
pump it out, clean up and paint the basement ‘deck gray’;
4. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go to
the scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashiest
bar you can, pay $10 per beer until you’re hammered, then
walk home in the freezing cold;
5. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawn-mower;
6. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays turn your water temperature
up to 200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to 10
degrees. On Saturdays and Sundays declare to your entire family
that they used too much water during the week, so all showering is
7. Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling;
8. Have your next-door neighbour come over every day at 5 a.m. and
blow a whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout,
“Reveille, Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up”;
9. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she’s going to
do the following day, then have her make you stand in the back
yard at 6 a.m. and read it to her;
10. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days
straight, then lock the bathroom door for 12 hours, and hang a
sign on it that reads “Secured – Contact OA Div at X-3053”;
11. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it’s OK
for you to leave your house before 3 p.m.;
12. Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board
up all the windows and doors for 6 months. After the 6 months
is up, take down the boards, and since you’re on duty, wave at
your friends and family through the front window of your home …
you can’t leave until the next day;
13. Shower with the above-mentioned friends;
14. Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home
(i.e. dishwasher-operator, blender technician etc.);
15. Walk around your car for 4 hours checking the tyre pressure every
15 minutes;
16. Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere.
This is to ensure that your engine is properly ‘lot off’;
17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house, and sweep your driveway
3 times a day, whether they need it or not;
18. Repaint your house once a month;
19. Cook all your food blindfolded, groping for any spice and
seasoning that you can get your hands on;
20. Have your neighbour collect all your mail for a month, randomly
losing every 5th item;
21. Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch
CNN and the Weather Channel.

and people say I’m a cynic!   Thanks Dennis O for the item

This entry was posted in General Updates. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s